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    Top 10 Sarcastic Dares
    10. Pull into a gas station and use the window washer to wash your entire car.

    9. Ask a bank teller to break a $100 bill for you. Then when asked how you want it done say, “in hundreds”.

    8. Call a political candidate’s campaign office and ask them for a donation to your non-candidacAy.

    7. Ask a security guard how it feels knowing that in all the action movies the security guards are always the first to die.

    6. When you get credit card offers in the mail, stuff the prepaid envelopes with toilet paper and mail them back. (whether you use new or used toilet paper is totally up to you.)
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    5. Call your bank and ask them to add your checking account onto the $700 billion government bail out plan.

    4. Find someone who is big into worrying about the threat of global warming, remind them of their own carbon dioxide and body heat contribution to the planet, and ask them to stop it.

    3. Ask a judge if you can get away with murder as long as you can convince a jury of your peers ahead of time that it is justified.

    2. Send a bill to every TV station, radio station, cell phone company, and satellite company, charging them an “access fee” for the waves they broadcast through your property. If they refuse payment, charge them with trespassing.

    1. Circulate a petition to put “intelligent human beings” on the endangered species list.
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    A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
    On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
    "What?" said the puzzled groom.
    "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
    "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
    Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

    Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

    Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

    Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
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    Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

    Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

    Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

    Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

    Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

    "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

    "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
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    Sven and Ollie go dear hunting and kill a big buck. they drag it back to the camp site and hang it and gut it. Ollie says to Sven I got to go take a dump and he heads for the outhouse. After an hour there is no sign of Ollie so Sven decides to go see what is taking Ollie so long. He goes to the outhouse and findes Ollie sleeping inside. So Sven thinks he is gonna get that Ollie. He gets the gut pile from the deer and places it at Ollies feet in the outhouse and goes back the camp. Twenty minutes later here comes Ollie walking like he's got a dry corn cobb up his arse. Sven asks him what happened and Ollie says" Well I musta shit so hard that I plopped out my innards." Ollie pauses then holds up his right hand and keeping his index and middle finger extened exclaims" But by the grace of God and these 2 fingers I got it alll back in."
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    dude u there?
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    HEre Is a joke for you.

    A guy walks into a bar and sees a Huge Jar of money on the bar. a sign on it says "Make my donkey Laugh and you get this jar of money. $10.00"
    So he puts in a ten spot and walks the the back room and wispers in the donkeys ear. The Donkey Starts a laughing and keeps it up as the man walks to the bar and tales all the money and leaves.

    2 years pass and he ends up in the same bar with the same jar full of money. The sign now reads "Make my donkey cry and win this jar of money. $20.00"
    agian he puts the money in the jar and walks back to the Donkey and unzips his pants and the donkey starts crying. So he walks up to the Bar and takes the money, the bartender ask him to tell him what he did to make the donkey laugh and then 2 years later make him cry...

    Well the man says, the first time I told him my dick was bigger then his. the secondtime I showed him.........................

    Fuck this took along time to type..
Showing Visitor Messages 21 to 28 of 28
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About That's Easy

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Date of Birth
July 22, 1970 (49)
About That's Easy
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I gots more guns than I needs, but not as many as I wants.
Morristown, NJ
IT Consultant and Systems Analyst (GIS and Database Systems)
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"Time doesn't always heal, it just breathes and swallows memories."


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